Daily Post #2

 Heyyyyooo! Today I'm back with more messy emotions haha. 

First of course! Here's today's track

https://open.spotify.com/track/2MUIqXtgr7NANCzpBi53w6si=tF8H4hHIQF6ze5N_Igvd8w&context=spotify%3Atrack%3A2MUIqXtgr7NANCzpBi53w6

It's tete-a-tete hy OSTER PROJECT. I've only listened to a bit but the rhythm is pretty nice. Enough of the track anyway.

I currently have the hiccups and im upset so boom wow! let's write a blog entry. I really don't even fuckin know what to talk about but these hiccups hurt like hell. 

Anyway, I saw a few seconds of Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's performance on Coachella 🤘😝🤘🎵!!!!! It was kind of rad yk? I don't really watch videos or anything that isn't movies, berleezy or parapara since im so lazy haha. Speaking of, I should link the parapara video for today too~ it's a dance I've been learning recently.

https://youtu.be/aTBlKRzNf74

This video is Night of Fire! It's a pretty fun dance but some parts can be  little confusing because I'm not good with moving my legs and arms at the same time. Spmetimes I have trouble doing simple tasks like standing without falling haha.

Moving on~

I guess I'll just give a daily update or something. School was okay but per usual I have no friends and do terrible classwork. It's not hard, I'm just lazy. I sit alone at lunch and feel people staring at me all the time. Such an annoyance. Life of being an alone-lonely person I guess. I try not to mind it sometimes. But hearing the voices of my old friends makes me want to chop my ears off. I wish they'd know what they did to me but whatever. I'm always "overreacting".

My math teacher is really nice to me yet everyone is always so rude to her. They're just upset because if you're rude to her she's rude back. And I can tell you, These girls at the school are entitled to nothing. They are rude just for fun and say it's a personality. Nobody is naturally rude and disgusting to people, trust me. That's just weird and nasty. But whatever.

Last night, I spent about an hour crying my eyes out. Some nights I don't even know if I'll make it to the next day. Sadly there's nobody to listen to me. No matter how loud I scream or cry, it'll just come out as a silent nothing to everyone. I try not to mske it about myself but I want it to be, because it's never been about me. Not ever. Even when people called MY phone, it still was neve about me not even for a second.

I always imagine having like an anime-like boyfriend who always cares for me no matter what and would never leave me ever...but that's like a rotten dream. It's selfish, I know, but I really just want some love. I didn't get it and I don't ever think I did. Not even from my family. But I don't have family anymore. They're all dead to me. They're all so abusive. So, I disowned them like they did me.

I just hope that I can find a partner one day..Even a close friend would do fine but just a partner that would hug, hold, and never leave me, would be absolutely amazing.

I think I'm going to read Mai Chan's daily life. I heard it was really gore-y so if it isn't long I'll read it but I Really want to watch Gakuen Handsome but man, I'm so lazy~~~ I don't feel like it.

Sorry for the long shitty blogpost today!~ Gotta let out my stupid toilet emotions somehow haha. Hopefully someone will see this. I doubt anyone cares, though, im not surprised. I fucking hate this earth anyway. Just wish I had the guts to wrap that stupid belt around ny silly little neck.

Well, that's it for today anyway.~ こんばんは to all.

Daily Post #1

 Hellloooo!! This is Meat on the blog at 18:05 on April 26th!

How's everyone feeling? 

Today, I feel quite upset but that is okay! I'll link the soundtrack we got today that's kind of fitting in the vibe.

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/kV85HUHashoPogbw8

Sadly, This has to be the track. (ˊ ᐞ ˋ๑)sorry… This song is good too!! It's Amalgam by Toby fox. But the original song was supposed to be 1p 2p 3p and 4p 5p 6p pppp by emamouse but it wouldn't let me copy the link after like 10 tried so I let it go haha.

Enough of the track, I wanted to talk about a few topics today such as Nude Body art, Photography, Psychology, and anime.

I think Nude Body art is pretty neat. I don't necessarily see much of it without it being sexual (Tʖ̯T)sadly but I try to lean towards people that actually feel a connection with the art and connection with themselves. I also like Ero Guro art and Art by Hajime Kinoko. Ero Guro really stresses some symbols of Hypersexuality which I can kind of feel with a spiritual connection sadly. Hajime's art is kind of like bondage/sexual bondage sometimes but always really gorgeous!! I don't like the way ropes feel on me because I always think I'm going to die LOL so I think the people who go out and let their bodies be turned into art are some of the bravest people.

Now Photography, I am a big fan of Photography because this plays a major role in where I get my writing inspiration from because I am a heavy visualist and I need inspo to sort of form a good image in my head of what I need or want to do when I write or even sketch. (Pretty bad at both but they can be enjoyable haha).

Psychological anime, horror, art, and so on are things I've always been interested. I don't know why but I've got a bsd habit of watching Psychological animes at like 4 am and feel like I'm high off my mind haha. (NOT A GOOD IDEA,,, I DO NOT RECOMMEND LMAO.) It was Ergo Proxy and Serial Experiments Lain that I did that with. Definitely not good ideas but I still enjoyed none the less, yk? I guess I've got a thing for Psychological things. Especially the art! The beauty of how mind-fucking it can be is what amazes me and makes me feel beautiful all over.

Lastly, Anime, There's TONS of animes I've been wanting to watch but im soooo lazy. It use to be because I was bored but I'm not even bored now, I literally am just lazy because i have no friends so no reason to be bored HAHA. sorry, I bring that up a lot but naturally, I can't help not joking about it. 

The anime I did want to watch Is like "Gakugen Handsome"??????? Let me search.

Okay yeah it's Gakuen Handsome. I've been wanting to watch it for a while, but it all I'm just super lazy haha. I prefer to be on my phone usually. I didn't even take a nap today but I guess I should now or something. Not like anyone is ever gonna read these things haha.

Let's just hope that maybe one day, I can actually have a partner who loves me and won't abandon me ever or some friends that won't treat me bad or also ditch me.

Me?? (short vent)

i hate that I feel like I always try to give people lots of love and they've taken advantage of it every time. Almost every person I liked or loved (Friendship or Lovers) Has left me or ditched me after I ended the relationship or something for health reasons and they said we would be friends but left.

Sigh, I get so sick when things like this happens but as a result, I'm still alone. I never did anything horrible in this world like people I know, yet I get treated awfully. Not even rewarded with one friend who cares and DOES NOT ditch me or make me feel weird or we kind of are on bad terms and they start talking about other people they love 24/7.

That hurts!!! I never do that. I know how it feels and that's why I don't do it. I don't excessively talk about a person that someone else doesn't even know and make them feel left out when I'm literally talking them. ┐(´д｀)┌ i just don't seem to understand why anyone doesn't want me?? Obviously not even my own family so i thought i could be of need to my friends now I have no friends. I feel worthless and like I have no reason.

Introductions?

 Hello, My name is Ve or Meat or whatever you want to call me I don't really care since I have absolutely no identity. It always changes. I'm 15 years old, I live in America, and I'm a ball of hair that lives in a dirty toilet..I have multiple blogs but this is what I post on for now..

I like horror of just about all times but like ones mostly that revolve around a suicide concept. I watch lots of movies and I sleep.

Some of my favorite movies are TAG (2015), Jisatsu Sâkuru(or suicide club, suicide cirlce), Antiporno, Tokyo Gore Police, Kill Bill, American Beauty, and more.

Some music Artists I like are Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, Pengosolvent, Loli in the early 20s, Cannibal Corpse, Sewerslvt, Slipknot, ZOMBIE☆LOLITA, As I Die Laying, 4Lung, CreepP, Ningen Isu, Ramakhandra, Goreshit, emamouse, Toby Fox, Baby Metal, NANORAY, t e l e p a t h テレパシー能力者, Otoboke Beaver, Lamb of God, ATARASHI GAKKO!, and many more☆

A few artists I like are Takato Yamamoto, Suehiro  Maruo, Gekidan Inu Curry, Junji Ito, Ikuma Nakada, Junko Mizuno, Kaneoya Sachiko, Shintaro Kago, VIVINOS, Yoshitomo Nara, Yoshitoshi Abe, Avogado6_jp, Lawnpee, Killychan, Plastiboo, nora_bakemono, clitorispears, Plaaastic (Visual art not drawn), and many more. ദ്ദി"(｡•`ω-)✧

I also enjoy anime and Manga but do not read/watch new ones often because I'm too lazy haha. My favorite anime is Kuuchuu Buranko and Prison School. I have a weird obsession with Danganronpa that I can sadly not get over but I've been trying.

I enjoy shows like Girl from Nowhere, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Squidbillies, All of Us are Dead, Happy Tree friends, Peppa pig, and more I can't think of haha.

May I mention that I have lots to talk about so I may be here often and talk about quite uncomfortable things. I will not always trigger warn my blogs because after all, it is my blog page. I hope we get to know each other well.